so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
