lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
