this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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