Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
