How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
