dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
