Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
