My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just want to make out with him forever
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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