Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
