i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
