Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
