so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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