please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
