but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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