Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
