But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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