I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
