i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So squirting runs in the family.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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