no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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