Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I could fuck to npr.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
