So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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