I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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