He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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