how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
