ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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