I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
