So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
