So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
