I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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