just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
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