guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
