I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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