we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
