she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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