Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize