I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
