i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
