i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
