I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize