I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
