do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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