so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ok first of all what the fuck
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
