Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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