he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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