I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
