i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
