i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize