Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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