I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
