Moan for me like Helen Keller
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
