Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
