I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize