I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dear god my vagina.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
