Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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