the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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