Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize