I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
